Anew
by VocalRaynbow
Summary: "Today is the beginning." And it really was, wasn't it?


Author's Note: And here's the long awaited Anew! I posted it on VocaloidOtaku first, while I was still working on it. But now that's it's done, it's up on here for all to enjoy. I'd like to thank RinaTan for introducing me to many of my inspirations and helping to keep me on task. Chapter 21 of Hard Drive Singer should be up soon, and possibly another drabble. But I'm rambling now. So just sit tight, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the fic. And I recommend reading in 1/2, for the experience.

* * *

_The End ._

_

* * *

_

"Ahh."

There was a light, airy feeling. A simplicity, a childish simplicity. As if this world had been sketched with a dozen bright crayons, scribbled here and there. The swirled, fluffy clouds below told a story of purity and innocence. They stretched on for miles, cream against the golden horizon. Light spilled everywhere, washing every crevice with warmth.

"This...This is my last time here, isn't it?"

There was a form, seated upon the clouds. One might wonder how they stayed afloat on such an unstable support, but they did not dip. Bare feet, snuggling into the mound of buttermilk. A white sundress. Golden hair rippling and cascading down. Hands loosely folded, a pink string tied on one finger.

"Yes..."

Another form stepped over, feet bare as well. A matching sundress. Powder blue locks brushed their thighs, draping down, draping down. They rested their hands on the shoulders of the other. Comfort, loving care. A pink string was tied to their finger as well, the leftover bit simply hanging. The hands grasped tighter, protecting.

"We will meet, someday..."

The sky suddenly cracked, sharp and sudden like glass. Everything was stained a dark crimson. And it rained down violently, bleeding, bleeding. Everything was dark, so very dark. There was no sun, no beautiful horizon. Everything was black, and blood, ah, it was everywhere. The second form vanished, and the remaining was tainted, blackened to char. There was no sundress. No cascading golden hair. No flimsy string. Just a cowering body in the darkness.

And the thick, pulpy clouds below, they were the darkest, most ominous of grays. A dip was formed in the center, the clouds lipped, to reveal an endless dark void. The form was sent, plummeting down. Spiraling infinitely. The string was wrapped about their finger once again, but it was a deep crimson, and the leftover bit of string spread out below for miles. Connecting something...

'Today is the beginning.'

* * *

_The Beginning ._

_

* * *

_

There was a crash, a thump. Some incomprehensible noises. And then she awoke.

Sitting up suddenly, tangled haphazardly in covers. Her skin was shiny with sweat. Her orange polka dot pajamas seemed tight and uncomfortable, and her blond hair stuck to her. Her breath was harsh and rough, chest heaving dramatically. She... couldn't... breathe... Why? Did she have a nightmare? Some other intense sort of dream?

Sighing, the girl yanked the covers off, and stood beside her bed. Her room was a bit cluttered, clothes splattered here and there. Books tossed casually aside. Posters of singers hanging crooked on the walls. She knew all of it, of course. This was her room. Her home. But this felt rather odd, standing here. Just something about it made her feel a bit dizzy.

'_Today is the beginning._'

What day was it, anyway? And what was her name? And why didn't she remember those things? Her head didn't exactly _hurt_, per say, but it felt kind of shaky and disoriented. It pulsed, and a sudden wave of nausea hit her. It passed, but was still rather unpleasant.

What had happened last night? She couldn't remember going to bed. Or, for that matter, _anything_ that had happened yesterday. What was going on? Why couldn't she remember anything? Did she hit her head? Get drunk? _What_ was going on? She really wished she could get some sort of explanation.

Upon checking the calender (Thank god she remembered how to read one!), she found out that today was New Years Day. So the drunk thing _was_ a possibility. Then again, even if she had been, wouldn't she at least remember her name? Right now she couldn't remember anything at all. It was a rather strange feeling.

Wait, her name. R- something. Rih... Rin? Yes! Rin! Rin Kagamine. That was her name, wasn't it? Rin Kagamine. Not a bad name. How old was she? Euhhh... Rin thought hard, clawing at her mind. Fifteen! Of course, she was in high school. She tried to remember the name of her school, but that simply escaped her. Besides her name and age, no further information was available. This frustrated her deeply.

"I'm going to figure out who I am," she stated solidly, a determined expression on her face. "And why I feel this way." Easier said than done though. Ah well. Why not start by getting dressed? She nodded, and turned toward her closet.

Inside there were probably hundreds of clothes. Each hanging on its own respective hanger. There were so many colors and styles that Rin was simply overwhelmed. But one article stood out in particular. It was a white sundress. Out of everything, it seemed the most familiar and comfortable. Perhaps it was important to her? She selected it.

Once Rin had put the dress on, she went to go check herself in the mirror. Well, one thing stood out. Her hair. She wasn't sure why, but it felt odd having short hair. But hadn't she had that style for years? On to the dress, though. It was amazing. The dress flowed about her like water, circling and puddling around her knees. The bust was padded, and it puffed out just before the hip, giving the illusion of a figure (Rin knew already that she was a stick...). It flattered her perfectly, and she couldn't help but smile at her reflection.

The next thing that came to mind were shoes. Rin peered at her collection. It was quite large. They had their own shelf in her closet. After sorting through the tangle, she decided that a pair of rosy white flats would work best. She slipped them on, and oh wow were they comfortable. They also added a certain warmth to the dress. A spring-like breeze that swept across.

Now, where to start... In an instant, a location came to mind. The local park. She wasn't sure _why_ but she just had to go there. It was some sort of compulsion, she supposed. And you can't just ignore something like that. So, snapping a barrette into her hair, Rin headed confidently out the door. Despite, of course, having no idea how she was going to _get_ to the park in the first place.

But that's life, isn't it?

* * *

_Presence ._

_

* * *

_

There was another girl, halfway across town. Inside a large white building. It was teeming with people, so much that an extra wing was in construction nearby. But this girl, she lay in a room that was completely empty, except for her. High white walls, a pulled curtain, a wide window overlooking the town.

Wrapped about her was a white dress, but of a different sort. It was more like a smock than anything, with a flimsy tie at the back. A hospital dress. Attached to her were cords, tubes. Liquid flowing within, of what sort I could not tell. Her hair was a lovely shade of powder blue, draping down and rippling on the bed she sat upon. And her eyes, well, do I even need to say it? They were a pure, untainted azure, a mark of clarity on her pale face.

I'm sure you understand now. This girl, she was kept in a hospital. She was ill and they were afraid to take any chances. They wanted her to live, of course. To overcome this and stay alive, even if her freedom and sanity were at stake. They didn't care about _that_. Long as they didn't get any angry encounters with her father, they were perfect.

Her father... She shut her eyes for a moment. What was he like, again? It had been so long. Wracking through her brain, scouring every crevice. Even a single word would do. She could warp it to her imagination, to fit him. To jog her memories. But, try as she might, there was nothing. Not a single drop of information. Except, well...

She did remember one thing. Her father was not the nicest of people. He was a loud, booming man, but was no jolly Santa Claus character. Rather, he was the sort of person who would punch you in the face if he didn't like your guts. And she knew that. She knew that he had never really liked her, and upon finding out of her illness, cast her aside as nothing more than a bother.

Which isn't to say he wouldn't care if she died. He would care, he would yell at the hospital, sue them. Do whatever he could. And that was fine. But it wasn't as if he ever visited her, ever talked to her, ever played a silly game with her. They barely knew each other, had barely seen each other. She doubted she had seen him in months.

Ah, but off of such trivial matters. She shook her head slightly, clearing her mind of the wretched thoughts. He'd best stay forgotten. The here and now was more important. And now, she wanted to get out.

Yes, she wanted to run out for a bit, to feel the wind in her ears, the soil under her feet. For once in her life, to be _free_. She had wished for that, hoped for that, since she had first gotten here. But they had always kept a close watch on her. But now, they were more lenient. They figure, why bother? And this gave her her chance.

So, first she unclasped the plastic veins, laying them on the bed. Then she pulled off her hospital dress, yanking on a more presentable one. A pretty white sundress. It was all she had. Then she brushed through her soft, thick hair. Tied it up into twintails. And she was ready, though others may think otherwise. She was going to leave.

There was a fire exit right near her room. The hospital decided it wasn't good enough, however, and a new one was built somewhere else. The old one still worked, though, and was sometimes used to get the patients out for fresh air, and to bring in just-dropped-off cartons of food. So it was perfect for this.

She cautiously walked by the bed, by the clipboard with "Miku Hatsune" written in big letters, by the endlessly ticking clock. Through the wooden door, into the dim, escape room. It was quite shabby and depressing to look at. But, what more could you expect from an abandoned section of a cheap town hospital?

Miku climbed through, down the stairs, down. Until her dainty feet hit the ground. It was softer than expected, gentler. Little blades of grass poked through the cracks, and pebbles were scattered here and there.

'_Today is the beginning'_

And it really was, wasn't it?

* * *

_Absence ._

* * *

Time... It's a funny thing, isn't it? You can say it's 5:30, but why do the numbers matter? If you feel like it's late, then it's late. If you think it's early, then it's early. They developed this whole system of numbers for no real reason. And people put so much faith in it... What would happen if time collapsed, then? Would humanity fall apart?

She was walking, white dress flowing around her, blond hair swaying. Below her was a sidewalk, dusted with dirt and leaves. Off to the side a freshly painted road. Houses lined the street, typical suburban things. Two stories, a large backyard, shrubbery all around. Rin knew all that. It was _familiar_. The park was familiar as well, although she couldn't remember what it looked like. Or how to get there, but somehow her feet moved on their own.

It was a curious thing, but Rin didn't like to dwell. She was a lighthearted person. So, smiling, she continued on. It was rather funny, though. How lighthearted she was. She was so confused and disoriented. She barely knew her name. She had no idea _why_ she felt that way. She just did. It was almost like having a double whammy of amnesia and deja vu.

This world... How long had she known it? She was fifteen, apparently, but it didn't feel that way. It seemed almost like everything had begun right _then_. Not billions of years ago like scientists claim, but right smack on New Years Day. Of course, that was incorrect, but it felt so odd to think.

Suddenly a headache washed over her. It overpowered her mind, flooded it with images. Augh, it hurt. Piercing like needles, then a dull, unbearable ache. The images began to flash by without warning. Concrete... Blue hair, spilling out... Blood... Then, as sudden as it had come, it was gone. And the images vanished with it.

'_Today is the beginning._'

There's that phrase again. Rin wished she could understand it, but it was just a mash of strange syllables. Impossible to understand, without some sort of multilingual dictionary of course. And even then, the sounds blended together too well. She couldn't pick out the words.

Why... why was she so out of it? Why did standing there, clutching her head, feel so strange and nostalgic? She shut her eyes tight, so tight that they hurt. Tears began to spill down. W-why... Why did she feel so... Confused? Anxious? Strange? What_ was_ this? Earlier, she had just dismissed it without a thought, but now... It hit her hard, all at once. And now she could barely stand.

How come she couldn't remember her phone number? How about her address? Her school's name? But all of these drew blanks in Rin's mind. Nothing, there was nothing there. But how can you live for fifteen years, and wake up one day with complete amnesia? As ridiculous as it sounded, it appeared to be true.

How about remembering her childhood? Rin dug through, far back as she could. One image surfaced. No, not just an image. A full memory, voices and all. She ran it over in her mind.

_The sky was blue, devoid of any clouds at all. The sun shone out, unobstructed, and warmed everything. The ground was covered completely in sunflowers, stretching for miles possibly. Each swaying in the gentle breeze. Until, that is, she came tumbling through. But her blond hair was golden, and much longer. She toppled onto the ground and began to laugh, delightful tears brimming her eyes. Then a hand was in front of her, gentle and delicate. "Need help?" a melodic voice chirped._

This made her head ache as well. Worse than before, actually. But instead of doubling over in pain again, she found drive in it, and began to bolt ahead. Not caring, not worrying about where she was going. Running without end, without care. Just _going_. Her flats slapped the sidewalk, her dress circled around her. Blond hair flying out.

Sweat slid down her cheek, but she was not tired. Not in the least. Her head throbbed with pain, but the excitement of running made it all but vanish. Her heart, beating twice as fast. Her breath quick and sharp. Arms pumping back and forth to the beat of her footsteps.

A gate was visible at the end of the block. It was an arch, long and narrow. Flowers lined the edge of the fence, yellows and reds and oranges all blending together like a lovely painting. Past the archway was grass greener than anything Rin had imagined prior. A winding sidewalk path. The occasional bench plopped here and there. And of course a playground, teeming with giggling children and their grinning parents, who shout out cheerful encouragements.

Seated on one of the benches was a person so wonderful Rin couldn't possibly describer her. Her heart sped up even more, and she found herself staring like a deer in headlights, amazed.

Why did that person look so familiar, anyway?

* * *

_Overlap ._

_

* * *

_

The two girls, they stood. Surrounded by swaying leaves, brushing grasses. Two angelic figures in the paradise. There was no need for words, for an explanation. The distance between their eyes was enough. The sun brightened all of a sudden, warming everything it touched. A wind swept by, throwing everything into the air. Everything seemed to come to life...

The younger of the two, blond hair whipping around. Her blue eyes were wide with wonder. Lips curved into an 'o'. Her foot came forward, tripping on the grass. And she found herself, in a bout of clumsiness, falling over. Onto the other, equally surprised girl. Arms stretched forward, the two toppled onto the gentle earth, their sundresses rippling and wrinkling.

The blond gasped, heart beating fast. She was leaning on top of the other, disheveled girl. The girl with tangled blue locks and rosy cheeks. The girl she had admired from afar. Yes, her heart thumped quickly. Her cheeks reddened with embarrassment. And once realizing that their sundresses were _white_, and therefore easily stainable, she found the immediate need to apologize. But what were the words she was looking for?

"I...I'm sorry!" Rin shouted awkwardly. "I'm sorry I fell on you!" She felt the heavy stares of bystanders upon her, and blushed more violently. It was quite a compromising situation, one that usually lead up to a thick flurry of kisses and sweat, of passion and warmth. But ah! This...This was someone she had just met. There was no need to exaggerate things...

Rin got up, brushing off her dress. Her cheeks still burning. The gazes of curious ordinaries lightened, and drifted away. Lessening the pressure a bit. Noticing that the azure haired girl was still sprawled out on the grass, she held out a hand. "Need help?" Rin chirped. The other girl sat up, smiling brightly. And suddenly, a thousand needles pierced Rin's head.

Need help... That was in her dream. In that... With the sunflowers, she had tripped. A hand had reached out, one delicate and beautiful as anything. Need help... Did she need help... Augh, it hurt! It hurt!Why... Why must she remember such a thing? Why did it hurt so much? And why did it feel so strange? So... nostalgic? Augh, make it stop! Make it _stop_!

Rin doubled over in pain, clutching her head dramatically. Tears brimmed at the edges of her eyes. The other girl's eyes widened, looking surprised. But Rin was in too much pain to see. Too dizzy to notice. The other girl patted the top of Rin's head gently, stroking. "Are you alright?" she said in comfort.

Rin lifted her head to look at the other. "A-ah, yes," she said, although not entirely sure herself. "I'm R-rin. It's a pleasure to meet you!" Still dizzy and feeling awkward, she could do little more than stutter her name. Still, it was a start. She brushed a strand of blond hair out of her eyes.

The other girl smiled. Smiled the most wonderful of smiles. "I'm Miku. The pleasure is all mine," she responded. Such a mature and beautiful face, such round, pure eyes. And her voice... It seemed so oddly familiar, like everything else. As if she knew it from somewhere... But it was lovely all the same.

Rin gazed at the other in pure, unmatched wonder. Amazement, even. She couldn't believe her eyes, her ears. This... angelic figure, sitting right in front of her. Smiling, speaking in that wonderful voice. It was unbelievable. Unimaginable. The way the sunlight glowed on her flowing teal hair. How her rosy lips curved oh so subtly. The charm of how her eyes squinted as a gentle breeze danced by.

"I-I'm sorry," Rin murmured, tilting her head downward. "That I'm being so troublesome." Eyes directed at the grass, cheeks reddening. Chewing on her lip decisively. All at once, she had proved to be such a bother to this girl. Had pushed her over, then worried her over something silly. Really, she might as well leave right then. She had ruined it for herself. She felt tears sliding down her cheeks. Why...

Why did she care so much?

Miku gasped. "O-oh! Please don't cry, you're not troublesome," she said, eyes wide. She took her slender finger and wiped a tear off of Rin's face. "I actually rather enjoy having you here." A comforting expression filling her face, that of someone who _cared_. Though they had just met... Something clicked between the two. Something indescribable through words.

"I...I'm not?" was Rin's surprised response. She lifted her head to look at Miku, and felt her heart skip a beat. Ahhh, so wonderful. So kind... Pink tinting her cheeks, she blinked away the gathering tears. "But I just came over, and bothered you..." Why couldn't Miku see? Rin... She was annoying. She was troublesome. So why didn't Miku think so?

Miku merely smiled, that fantastic, warm smile of hers. She entwined Rin's hands with her own, locking their fingers together in an embrace. Eyes shining azure, turquoise strands drifting ever so gently. Love... Admiration... They were all glowing, highlighting her face.

"Because, today is my beginning."

* * *

_Order ._

_

* * *

_

A sweet kiss. Just a brush of the lips. That was all, that was it. Nothing more than a simple, innocent gesture. That was what she had intended, anyway. It hadn't exactly happened that way.

Something had shifted, and she ended up kissing Rin full on, twisting and tumbling and hearts beating fast. It seemed so, well, _right_ at the time. Rin had actually initiated it. And she had gone right along with it. Because she had felt the want to, no, the _need_ to.

But, oh, wasn't it quite bad to kiss someone you barely knew? She had just met Rin that day, and they didn't really know each other well. Wasn't it frowned upon to do such a thing? Especially with your first kiss. You're not supposed to just throw that around. According to this 'common sense', she should feel ashamed and horrified at herself.

The odd thing was, she didn't. She was perfectly happy that she had kissed Rin in such a way. That she had tasted the girl's sweet, orange flavored lips. As if it were nothing new. As if she had done it a thousand times before. It hadn't felt surprising, or even embarrassing. Just a wonderful little exchange between the two. And Rin... She had gasped for breath at the end and blushed, but that was just the type of girl she was.

At the end, they had agreed to meet again the day after. To smile and talk and spend time together. Like _friends_. Though it seemed they had just met, it felt more like the two had known each other for an uncountable, unmeasurable time. So it was no wonder that they had met in such a way, hm?

Miku hummed to herself as she skipped along, white dress bouncing. Long powder blue hair curling and flicking along. Bare feet stepping on the fresh and cool grass. It was such a wonderful change from the muted hospital floors. She didn't care about splinters or bugs or dirt, or anything really. It just felt so amazing to be _free_. Free from those plastic tubes, from the whirring machines, and the probing nurses and doctors. To be walking outside under the warm sunlight, alone.

Unfortunately, she had to go back. Back to that awful, white walled place with it's tubes and doctors. And knowing that there would be no one there to visit her, to peck her forehead goodnight, to tell her fantastical stories of long ago. Now, these were child's things, she was supposed to have grown up. And yet, she hadn't, had she? She never got those things, and so still wished for them. Like how a small girl dreams of being a princess with a happy ending all planned. Miku still wanted that.

Soon she had arrived. Back on the side of the hospital, beside the abandoned fire exit. She would have to change back into that awful "gown" and crawl back into bed. Back to that slum of a place. She was grateful, of course. If it weren't for them, she wouldn't have gotten that far. She would have never met Rin. And that, she decided, was something that she should thank them for. So she climbed the stairs, up, up. Her feet creaking on the metal.

Soon Miku stood in her room once again. It was dreary and blank and cluttered with medical things. But it was this room that had saved her time and time again, from diseases and horrors beyond her knowledge. This room and the instruments within it. Yes, she should be grateful. She wasn't, but she should have been. Sighing, she drew out her hospital gown.

It was also rather dull looking. And a bit worn as well. But that was life, she supposed. No reason opposing it. Miku pulled the thing on. It was much less flattering that her gorgeous sundress, but it wasn't as if she was looking to _impress_ anyone.

Then she slipped into bed, pulling the beige covers up to her chin, resting her head on the firm pillow. How...dull. After that little adventure, simply lying in bed seemed so silly. So uneventful. For a moment, she wished Rin were there to entertain her and spend time with her. But, haha, she probably had places to be, having a clean bill of health and all.

There was a sudden rap at the door. Miku felt an instant stab of hope. Was it Rin? Was she here to answer her thoughts, to smile and stutter cutely? Miku called out a shaky, "Come in!" And the door swung open...

Only to reveal a nurse. Reality is too cruel sometimes.

And standing behind her was a gruff man, bearded and clad in an expensive suit. He was bulky and tough looking, with beady eyes that stared her down boredly. Who was this man?

"Hello, Miku," the nurse said calmly, folding her hands. "Your father is here." She then nodded, and stepped out of the room, leaving the man and his daughter alone.

"Miku..." he murmured, at a loss for words. He seemed rather uncomfortable. Why had he come if he had nothing to say? It was a pointless thing to do. She appreciated it, of course, but it was still quite silly. "How have you been holding up?"

"Fine, just fine," she replied in a monotone voice, staring at the ceiling. There was nothing she had to say either. So why had he come, exactly? Why would he drive all the way across town just to say 'hi'? "Why are you here?"

This caught him by surprise. He fumbled around, searching for words. As if startled. "I-it's your birthday... Don't you remember?" he voiced, concerned.

...It was her birthday? But, that didn't make any sense.

"Happy seventeenth, Miku," he said softly, smiling.

Just the beginning of yet another year. At least she had Rin...

* * *

_Chaos ._

_

* * *

_

"Sweet dreams," a soft voice whispered. It was almost melodic, and sweet as the most delicious honey. "Don't forget..."

She listened to this voice, clutching her sinking chest. Ah, so wonderful. Such a wonderful feeling. Her eyelids began to droop, her breath steadied. Calming... It felt as if a pair of warm, comforting arms were wrapping about her. A gentle embrace.

But she was in the dark, all around her was black. It was heavy, pressed upon her like a bulky weight. A blanket of obscurity. But it wasn't hiding anything. There was nothing there to begin with. So, how was she there? Gazing downward, she found that she _wasn't_ there. That her body simply didn't exist. She was a floating mass of consciousness.

She felt a nuzzling against her (though how, she couldn't explain), a rubbing. Like someone was snuggling up to her. Glancing around only revealed yet more blackness, but that warmth remained. Soft whispers upon her skin.

And then a form appeared. It tugged off the blanket, revealing itself. Herself, really. It was a girl, a beautiful one. She was lithe, wrapped in a white dress, golden hair rippling down. A kind, smiling face. Gentle hands. Rin felt a tugging on her heart as she gazed at the girl, a feeling of nostalgia and familiarity.

"Please don't let her take her life," the girl voiced. Yes... It was that sweet one. The one from before. "Please let her live, until the end." The girl was beginning to fade away, to disappear. She wanted to reach out, to stop the girl. But she was nothing. Nothing at all. So instead, the girl reached out, grasped _her_. And everything began to waver, to flicker. And her feeble consciousness was lost.

It was difficult to wake up that morning. To will herself to pick her head up and begin the day. But then Rin remembered the day before, touching her lips with an outstretched finger. Love, friendship, they were such amazing things... She pitied those who doubted, those who didn't see. They weren't people. They were hollow. Walking shells.

Sitting up, Rin found that the time was now 10:32. She remembered thinking that time was useless. And yes, it was still rather silly. But she could see a purpose. She had promised to meet Miku at the park around noon. If there was no system for time, no one would be able to plan meetings, to exchange thoughts. Without time, humanity would be disorganized. In short, a mess.

But, ah, no time to dwell. It took about half an hour to walk to the park, which meant Rin only had an hour to prepare. So she slipped out of bed, and stepped over to the bathroom, feet muffled by the soft carpet.

She took a pleasant shower, shampooing her blond hair with care. The warm water pelted her, sliding down her bare skin. Tattooing her face in a relaxing rhythm. Once Rin had finished, she turned off the water, watching the flow slow to a trickle and finally stop.

She wrapped a towel around her, to dry her soaked skin. It worked as well as anything, soaking up any excess water. Folding it into a crevice, Rin let go. The towel stayed. She nodded in satisfaction. Then, a mirror caught her eye. In it was not her reflection, but rather, a very familiar one. Long golden hair, a kind face. Rin stepped over to it, and the person disappeared. Instead, Rin's own angry face was there. She pounded her fist on the glass in frustration. Bring her back! She...She wanted that beautiful girl back!

The glass cracked and shattered. Little shards spilled everywhere, scraping whatever they touched, which did include flesh. A sudden burst of pain shot through Rin's mind, and she doubled over. Clutching her aching head, holding up her slipping towel. The blond's eyes shut tight. Ow, ow, ow. Why was this always happening to her? But it hurt more to think. Eventually, she was squatting on the bathroom floor, head ducked and held by her squeezing fingers. The towel lay fallen beneath her.

'_Today is the beginning._'

'_Don't let her take her life._'

'_Sweet dreams._'

The voice... The voice was whispering, whispering in her mind. But it was different. The first was mature, soft. The second was just as soft, but more childish. Very familiar, so very familiar. But it hurt to think, to imagine where she had heard them before. It hurt so _very_ much.

An image flashed through her mind. That of soft blue hair, spilling out. A slender, pale hand clutching a knife. A pool of blood. And a beautiful face. It was smiling, eyes shut peacefully. Then another image. It was something, something so unfamiliar and familiar at the same time. A girl so amazingly beautiful it could not be described in words. Powder blue hair reached her blemish-less thighs. A rippling sundress. But her face... It was half stained in blood, smeared thickly with crimson. A frown was displayed, curving downward in sorrow. Tears slid down fair cheeks, and her azure eyes were squinted.

Then the image vanished, along with the headache.

"No!" Rin shouted, breathing heavily. Eyes wide with shock. "Come back! Don't go..." Her fist was on the floor, gripping so tight that she could feel her nails drawing blood.

And then a sudden, horrible thought entered her mind.

"Miku!"

* * *

_Balance ._

_

* * *

_

The morning was bright. Blue skies, swaying green grass. People could be seen walking by, with pets, children, significant others. It was quite pleasant out. Most unusual for winter. But the people took to this strange warm weather with smiles and went about their business like any other day.

The park, oddly enough, was closed that day. The gate was shut and no one could be seen inside. It was barren, empty. The swish of the leaves, the chirping of birds, that was all that could be heard. Except, if you listened hard enough, you could hear the creak of a swing. Soft, distant laughter. _Life_.

The two girls were sitting on the swings, clutching the metal ropes for support. One looked mature, with long blue hair and a soft smile. Miku. The other held a silly grin, sporting short blond hair. Rin. They wore different clothes today. Well, Rin did. Shorts and a yellow tanktop. Miku still wore the sundress.

"So you're seventeen now?" Rin mused, dangling her feet.

"Yes," Miku replied. She cast her gaze to the side. She wasn't quite proud of it. She was old, much too old to be thinking the things she did. She put on this gentle facade, and yet... "It feels a bit strange."

Rin glanced at her curiously, her cute mouth curving into an 'o'. "Really? How so?"

"I don't know. Like my body is ahead of my mind." That was only part of it, of course. Life felt like it was going too fast. And she was already almost an adult. Adults move out. Adults get jobs. Adults have lives. She had never even gone to school. She knew how to read, of course. She had read books to pass time in the hospital, although the titles she couldn't recall.

Rin didn't answer. She hopped off of the swing, and stepped over to a nearby flower bush, picking an elegant yellow blossom. What was she...? Then Rin held out the flower. To Miku, who looked surprised. Rin blushed lightly, shuffling her feet. "Happy late birthday," she said. Awww! How sweet. "Please don't worry. I'm-I'm sure things will turn out fine."

Miku took the flower and thanked Rin, a warm smile coating her lips. She fastened it in her hair. And, as expected, it was beautiful. Oh Rin. So sweet, so precious, but so naive. She would miss her.

"Rin?" Miku murmured softly. Should she tell her? Should she shatter the trust they had built? It felt horrible putting on such an act.

"Yes, Miku?" Rin answered oh so adorably. She put on that childish face, lips curved up in a 'u'.

"I have to tell you something." Should she? _Should she_? Lying, keeping the truth to herself, it was a terrible thing. "I'm not healthy."

"Wha-?"

Miku took a deep breath. There was no turning back now. "I'm very weak. I've been in the hospital since I was four years old. Year after year I lay in that bed, reading or watching television. My father neglects me. My mother I've never met. My life...my life has no point." There was a dead silence. Not even a breath could be heard. Miku didn't lift her head, but she could just imagine Rin's shocked face. "I've been sneaking out to see you. I'm sorry."

Rin did respond eventually. "So that's why you're so softspoken." Miku looked at Rin. She had a small smile on her face. Her lip was quivering. "I would have never imagined..."

So did she just shatter their whole relationship? Oh no, oh no. She had never meant to hurt Rin, never meant to hurt her.

"It's alright," Rin smiled, lifting her head. "But are you actually sick?"

"No, just weak. I stay in the hospital because, if I contracted a disease, I would probably die. Not that it would matter." Well, it wouldn't. She supposed Rin would cry, her father would put together some lawsuits, but after a little while they would be over it. She had such a trivial existence.

"Miku..."

"Thank you for everything, Rin," she said to the blond, an odd sort of smile on her face. Miku leaned forward, and planted a kiss on Rin's lips. A moment, perhaps two passed, and they broke away. And Miku stood up, drawing something out of her pocket. Yes, this would fix everything. This was the answer. This was the light.

It was a knife. A clean, very sharp steak knife.

"NO!" Rin cried out, tears swimming in her eyes. She stood up as well, yanking the weapon out of Miku's hands. And hugged her. A tight, comforting embrace. Tears were running freely down her face, and she choked out, "I won't let you take your life."

Miku hugged back weakly, sobbing. She grasped at Rin's back. "Then today must be the beginning."

* * *

_Confinement ._

_

* * *

_

That day was a bit different. Usually Miku would walk back from meetings with Rin alone, going to the one place she'd rather forget. The hospital. Her whole life, spent trapped, confined. With no way out, only promised a slow and steady demise. And there was no way to escape. Even if she ran, the problem was within her. There was no escaping _that_. That weakness, that sickness. Her body wasn't strong enough.

That day, however, Rin was walking with her. "I want to see where you live," she had said, but Miku suspected it was because she didn't want her attempting suicide again. Ah Rin, she was so cute and naive, but so annoying sometimes. Secretly, of course, Miku enjoyed the company.

They walked along, passing green pastures and lively blue skies. Blooming gardens, sprawling trees. It was truly something beautiful. Quite a wonder for winter, but no one could possibly complain. Breathing in the sweet scent of warmth, rocking entwined hands back and forth. Feet trod lightly upon the sidewalk.

"Is that it, Miku?" Rin inquired, pointing her finger in the distance.

Miku peered ahead, spotting a large white building. "Yes, that's it." Her tone was not a happy one. It was tinged with resentment, low and hateful.

"...I see."

It was quiet after that. They really didn't need to speak. There was a comfortable silence binding them, encircling them. Words had no use in such a bonding quiet. Hands grasped tight, walking in rhythm. Each could hear the others breath, could nearly speak the others thoughts.

To say the mood was unpleasant would be an understatement. It was low and heavy, wrapping about them with hate and other, terrible things. Weighing on the two's minds. They were not hateful toward each other, oh no. Rather, the world seemed hateful toward them. Miku, she had suffered for years, alone in that hospital. Rin, she had completely lost her memory (or, had her memory lost her?). Life was far from on their sides.

Soon the two reached the looming white building. It towered above them, an ominous sign. Rin smiled awkwardly, trying to cheer Miku up, but of course it had little effect, if any. To try such a thing, ha, it was laughable. There was simply no place for happy thoughts. Not in a place like that, no.

They stood by the fire exit, just staring. The rusty metal stairs, the battered door. A rough, graffiti ridden wall. Miku wondered silently what Rin thought of the place. Disgusting, Miku thought. The world could be such a _disgusting_ place. Oh, the outside world was fine. Towering snow capped mountains, she had read. Glistening seas, glowing sunsets. But this world, this world that was left for her own eyes. It was disgusting.

Miku led Rin up the creaky stairs. "Shh," she warned the innocent girl. "Or they'll hear us." All breath was held, all voices were whispers. Miku felt rather clammy. What...What had she been thinking? Letting Rin come! This was _dangerous_. This...This could _ruin_ them. This could ruin everything.

Before they knew it, Miku and Rin were standing in Miku's hospital room. Bland, blank. White walled horrors. She hated this place, despised it. She tried so hard, so _very_ hard to keep this facade. This image of calmity and gentleness. But this place, it brought her to tears. A girl like her, she should not be confined. No. No no _no_! The tears finally began to run down her cheeks. Tears of anger, of hopelessness. That beauty she had tried so hard to hold up, that beauty that was supposed to make up for all of this. She ripped it in two.

"No...no..." she sobbed, hands covering her gushing eyes. All that pent up emotion, even from her failed suicide, it released itself yet again. Like an active volcano, spewing ash and lava for miles. She was a human volcano.

Rin, oh, oh Rin. The cute blond hugged her, embraced her. S-so, comforting. Miku buried her face into the girl's hair, holding her close. Eyes shut tight, teeth gritted. "Look on the bright side," Rin whispered into Miku's hair. "If you hadn't stayed here all these years, we wouldn't have met." And she was right.

Drawing away for a brief moment, gazing, gazing. Blue eyes met blue. Fingers entwined once more, and lips met. Melting into each other. Love, passion, everything just... It could not be described. Could not be...

The door suddenly swung open, causing Rin and Miku to jerk away. A nurse was staring with an urgent expression.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

* * *

_Exemption ._

_

* * *

_

The air was ice cold. Breath...it was still, unmoving. Everyone was still. Paralyzed. Afraid to move, hoping that this was some silly dream. Couldn't possibly accept, no, no... No.

The nurse stood there, lips (covered with cheap red lipstick, naturally) pursed. Shaking with anger and shock. Her long nailed finger was still pointed ahead, jabbing, accusing. "I said, what are you doing here, brat? This girl isn't allowed any visitors," the woman snarled. "And kissing, no less."

Rin just stared. Stared without any answers, any answers whatsoever. Was this the end? Was this the end of them? Her blue eyes filled with tears. "I-I love you, Miku," she choked out, trembling. "I'm sorry!" And with that, she found herself running, running right out of that room. Down the white walled hall, into the fire exit, down the creaking stairs. It was all a mad blur.

And there she stood, hands on her knees, bent over. Breath heaving as the moments dragged by. No...That hadn't just happened. No one had seen them. She...Miku, she had just warned Rin, and so she had left. That was it, wasn't it? Surely, surely. But Rin knew it was a lie. All of this was a lie. So what was the truth?

She couldn't answer that. Tears spilling down her cheeks, she straightened out. Grasping wordlessly at her chest. Rin began to sob, cheeks wet and splotched with red. Eyes puffy. It had to be a lie. No one had seen. They-they were still golden! Right? Right? But none of these thoughts satisfied her.

Miku, with her flowing blue hair. Her gentle skin, her gentle touch. Voice soft and comforting. Her kind words... And she was so, so unstable. Thoughts began to bombard Rin, horrible, horrible ones. What if Miku tried to...tried to...kill herself again? What if... No, don't think about that. Don't try to imagine... An image flashed by Rin's mind again, that of Miku, blue hair spilling out unto the floor, a pool of fresh blood, a gleaming knife. And a falling angel, azure hair flowing, white sundress, face stained with crimson, so sad, so sad...

The headaches, gah, no! Not here, not now. Not... Rin clutched at her head desperately, tears still dripping from her eyes, shut so tight that they hurt. Her lip quivered, and she let out a cry, falling onto the ground. The dust and grass was cold and hard underneath her, like glass. The warm weather vanished all at once. Freezing, unbearable gusts of wind rushed past. The sky was a blank slate of gray. Everything...

Rin stood up, and began to run, to run as fast as she could. Her head was spinning, throbbing. Her skin was clammy and wet from tears. And...it was so cold, so very cold. She couldn't...hold on. Her feet slapped against the sidewalk. Hands grabbed at her face, hiding it from view. Too tired, too upset, too cold. And yet, all of that gave her a sort of power. Not strength, she was weaker than ever. But...endurance.

And then she came upon her house. How, Rin could not explain, wiping tears out of her swollen eyes. But it seemed to just appear out of nowhere, lonely and forgotten amongst the suburban shells. They all burst with life and activity, but her house was empty. What struck her as odd, however, was that a dark blue car was pulled into the large driveway. It was usually empty. Who...Who could that be?

Rin ran up to the front door, swinging the thing open and climbing inside. The inside was exactly as she knew it, but there was something different. The table was decorated, strewn with gifts and delicious foods that she had never heard of. And music was playing, sweet and soft. She was lulled by the tune.

A woman walked into the room. Her hair was plump and blond, face gentle and curved into a smile. She was wearing distressed jeans and a t-shirt, quite uncommon for an everyday female of her age (Rin would say 35 to 40 or so). "Hello Rin, I'm home," she greeted. Such a warm gesture...

Rin was overcome with a strange, foreign feeling. Of recognition, familiarity. But it was of a different sort. She just couldn't explain it, weary from the day. So she didn't object when the woman hugged her tightly, and actually responded to it, if awkwardly. Who...

"I missed you, my daughter," the lady said, pulling away. At last, Rin knew who she was. Her mother. But why... "Being away at the Caribbean for all those months, I couldn't help it." Ah. So that was why she hadn't seen her before.

"I missed you too, Mom," Rin replied quietly, nibbling at her lip. This was quite uncomfortable. And yet...not, somehow. It wasn't nearly as wonderful as being with Miku, surely. But it wasn't _terrible_.

"Now," her _mom_ said, clapping her hands together, "how about we get started on those gifts?"

* * *

_Shelter_ .

* * *

Rin was sitting at the table. It was wood and, though it had previously been littered with cardboard, scrap plastic and tape, it was now spotless. A bouquet of various flowers sat in the middle, held by a clear glass vase. And in front of her was soon a large plate of turkey, with a hint of orange citrus, according to her mom ("It's your favorite, sweetie!"). She picked up her fork, smelling in the scent. It smelled alright. Nothing to gag over. So she dug out a slice of meat and shoveled it into her mouth. Chew, chew.

"Ah, this is good!" she said, smiling with full cheeks. The orange added that bit of tang to the turkey, giving it that wonderful _kick_ that Rin loved. A fragment of memory slipped through. A droplet, but it was enough for now. The scene was blurry. Rin was sitting in a much darker room, and the same sort of meal sat in front of her. Except she smiled awkwardly, and poked the turkey with a fork. "Just promise me you didn't add any leeks," she had said, laughing softly. Leeks...? Where had that come from?

Miku, on the other hand, was lying in bed once again. Her teal hair undone and tangled, an ugly hospital gown wrapped about her. Tubes were attached to various parts of her. I could go on for days about the cold white of the room, how no sunlight leaked in through the only window, how the only sound that could be heard was the soft ticking of the clock. But none of that mattered to Miku. The only thing she knew was that Rin, her dear Rin was far away. Somewhere she couldn't reach. And she was laying around in the hospital again, unable to escape. They had finally locked the fire exit, apparently, which meant that she had no hope of getting out.

The door creaked open, but she didn't turn over to see who it was. It didn't matter. If it wasn't Rin, or a nurse telling her she could _finally_ leave after all these years, she wasn't listening. Nothing, nothing mattered anymore.

"Um, miss?" said a young woman timidly, knocking on the wall. Yes...? "You have a visitor," she spoke again, this time a bit louder. A visitor, huh? Unless it was Rin... Unless the cute blond had somehow evaded the security system...

But someone else entered the room. She looked over, and found her eyes widen.

"Hello, Miku."

After dinner, Rin's mother suggested that they watch a movie. Flicking on the TV, turning down the lights. All so comfortable and familiar...Rin was lulled by it. She sat down, blond hair bouncing, next to her mother. What movie were they watching, again? Hmm...

A light glowed on the screen, then a logo. 'The Burning Star' it read in fancy, curled letters. A fantasy, quite obviously. The silver letters then faded. A rolling grass field, gleaming with sunlight. A castle looming in the distance. But on the grass was a battle, a glob of quarreling soldiers and...What...What are those things? Horrible, rotting skeletons on horses. Rin gagged.

Soon they were introduced to the heroine, a gorgeous princess hidden behind armor and a big sword. So pretty...Those round green eyes, gentle golden locks. Rin blushed profusely. But even so... This girl was nothing, not a drop of sand compared to her Miku. Her Miku...

"Oh, so you're into girls, Rinny?"

Eh? O-oh... Rin blushed deeper, shifting in her seat. Had she spoken out loud? "Um, I..."

Her mother laughed heartily, patting Rin's blond head. "It's okay. I'm sure your _Miku_ is too."

Ehe...

Standing there was something, someone. Miku, curled up in her covers and strewn with teal hair, had to shift to see them. Her. It was a woman, smiling ever so softly.

"Who are you?" Miku murmured. The novelty was fading... It was just a person, she supposed. She saw people every day. The difference was, this person had chosen to see her. And she didn't really look like a nurse. But then, who _was_ she?

The woman just kept smiling. There was a certain warmth in her eyes. One that just could not be described. Love, maybe? But Miku didn't even know this woman. Or...did she? "My name is Mai," the woman said. Mai? "Aunt Mai."

Huh? Aunt...Mai... So, this woman was her aunt? But then, why...

Why did it feel like there was such a bond between them? Even if it was foreign to Miku, it was still _there_. Pulsating, warming. Comforting.

Aunt Mai took a breath, wiping a small tear out of her eye. Her own light blue hair trembled. "Ever since you were little, I've looked after you. Even...Even if you never realized it."

So Aunt Mai had always... Miku just stared. Stared because she didn't know what to think.

"But, please, don't forget your father," Mai whispered, voice now trembling as well. "After your mother...He tried, he tried to take care of you. And then you became sick. He...He really is a wonderful man."

Miku put a hand on her own eye. Why... Why was she crying?

Rin was soon curled up in bed, hands gripping the covers. Her mother was smiling down at her, blue eyes glinting. A gentle silence, a comfortable quiet. A smile is worth a thousand words.

"You know..." were the first words that were spoken. "You haven't told me much about this 'Miku' person." A grin crossed her mother's lips, if only for a moment.

Miku? Ah, well, where to start? How to begin? Rin breathed in sharply. "Miku is...this girl I met at the park. She has long teal hair and is so, so beautiful. And...And she's wonderful. Her personality is just..." But Rin, as hard as she cried, just could not describe the object of her affection. It was simply impossible. "Only, one thing. Miku is, well, sick. She lives at the hospital, and the few times we met she snuck out to see me."

Her mother smirked. "So, what, is this some lesbian edition of Romeo and Juliet?" Suddenly becoming serious, she began to stroke her daughter's head. "It will be alright."

Rin chewed on her lip. She...She really hoped so.

There she lay. In the dark, in the light. In the dark was both literally (it was night, after all), and figuratively. She had no idea how life would work. Whether she would live or die. And in the light because she understood. Understood how lucky she was to have such loving, caring people around her. And what a terrible decision suicide would have been.

Miku lay in the dark and in the light, curled up in the creaky hospital bed. Hair spilling out and tangling. Even after all this time, the taste of Rin lingered on her lips. That wonderful, tangy orange that she loved so much. She touched her lip briefly, remembering. Reminiscing...

Her father was a nice man. That was what Aunt Mai had said. He must have gone through so much... Losing her mother, however it had happened. And then her weakness, which first surfaced with an awful sickness. She had later recovered, but that weakness remained. Her immunity... And even so, _even so_, he stood by her. And remembering how she had treated him, Miku felt an instant stab of regret.

Rin, she whispered. Rin, her Rin, _her Rin_. Imagine, imagine losing her. Imagine losing Rin. But Miku, she tried to imagine, and just ended up sobbing. The tears came fast. And she, if only slightly, understood. If she lost her Rin, she didn't know how she could go on. How she could move on. And adding something like a child into the mix...

Miku wrote a letter to Rin that night, talking of light and decisions, loss and love. Kissing it softly and wrapping it up, she put it out for a nurse to deliver.

Because Rin was hers, and hers only.

* * *

_Reason ._

_

* * *

_

Miku woke up in the afternoon, too tired to move, but too anxious to stay still. The result? Miku pacing sleepily around the room. Bare feet muffled by clean tile, teal hair brushing her thighs. Dizzy, bleary eyed. But she couldn't possibly rest, no, no. Her head shook, her legs wobbled, but no.

And soon the fruit of her anxiety arrived, in the form of a rap at the door. "Come in!" Miku voiced, leaning on her bed. The wooden door swung open, revealing a nurse. Typical. But what Miku was looking for was the sheet of paper in her hand. The slightly wrinkled, folded piece of notebook paper that the nurse carried in her dainty hand.

"This arrived for you," the nurse said, handing the paper over. That hope...That dream... Miku clutched it in clammy, trembling hands. A smile curving her lips. Rin...Rin was alright. Everything was going to be alright. Everything would be alright. Thanking the nurse, Miku walked back over to her bed. Now completely awake, and heart beating fast. Her Rin...

She carefully unfurled the paper. Her hands were shaking, so it was rather difficult. But she managed. And Miku was soon staring at a lengthy wall of text scrawled rather messily, and dotted with little hearts. She laughed inwardly at Rin's terrible handwriting. It fit her, didn't it?

'_Dear Miku,_

_I got your letter this morning, and wrote back as soon as I could. It was wonderful to hear from you. I was afraid, afraid you had... Well, considering last time, it wasn't that unreasonable. How are you holding up in that place? Food good? Wait, hospital food is never good. I should invite you here sometime. My mom's food is amazing. Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you. My mom came home from the Caribbean. She brought me back these two really cute necklaces. I think I'll give you one. Yeah, I'll tape it to the paper! I told her about us, is that alright? I mean, I don't know if you want to keep it secret or something... I really miss you. It feels so strange and awful not seeing you. I hope we can see each other again soon._

_Love, Rin'_

"Oh Rin," Miku said softly, smiling down at the letter. "Oh, _oh_ Rin." The cute girl. The cute, sweet girl. She pictured the blond girl huddling over a desk, an adorably determined expression on her face. Miku forced herself not to squeal in delight. She instead settled for a yet wider smile and a blush.

Then she remembered Rin's words about the necklace. Looking downward, she did in fact see something taped to the paper. Miku peeled it off carefully. It was as cute as Rin as said. Wooden balls lined the entirety, perfectly round and smooth. And the focal point of it was a little blue star hanging from the center. It was also wooden, but was as shiny as anything. She unclasped it and put it on. Sweet, sweet Rin... Maybe Rin had an orange one. That way they would match!

Miku laughed softly. All her life, as far back as she could remember, she had been solemn and quiet. Only happy children could laugh, she had thought. She hadn't been happy, and so hadn't joked or played. Her time was spent reading and looking out the window. Wondering what an ordinary life was like... But Rin had shown her, given her a taste of happiness, of freedom. And made her realize that it was within her reach all along. What a delicious feeling that had been.

Miku supposed that, without Rin, she wouldn't be here. She would have killed herself already, sick of the maddening white walls. It was such a wonderful coincidence that she had chosen that day to run away. If she had chosen even hours later, the precious meeting might have not happened. And then... She couldn't picture something so depressing. No, it wasn't a coincidence. It was fate, destiny even. She was sure of it, however cheesy it sounded. Their meeting was destiny.

Maybe her parents' meeting was destiny too. If they hadn't met, then they wouldn't have fallen in love. Then Miku wouldn't have ever been born. And Rin would have fallen in love with someone else (the very thought made Miku's blood boil, even though she was a fairly calm person). But they had, hadn't they? And Miku's sickness was destiny. Everything in her life had to be exactly how it was. Even if she didn't like it now, in the future... Maybe she would be healthy, living with Rin and their two adopted children in a comfortable house in the suburbs. She hoped that was their destiny.

Miku shut her eyes, imagining Rin's sweet voice in her ear. "Miku, I love you so much!" would be the girl's adorable chirp. One day, she would get out of this hospital. And then she would hear those words. Those sweet words like candy in her mind... It was delicious to _think_ about. In the meantime, though, she should probably write a reply to Rin.

Snatching a nearby pen and paper, she wrote a letter to her love.

'_Dear Rin,_

_I miss you as well. That offer about your house sounds heavenly. The food here _is_ horrible. Uh oh, that sounds like they're bringing my dinner now. Care to wish me luck? Haha. _

_Your mother actually sounds like a nice person. Not too many of those around, sadly. I'd love to meet her sometime. _

_It's perfectly fine that you told her about our relationship, by the way. I honestly don't mind. I mean, it's not as if the whole hospital doesn't know already. That nurse you saw spread it around, and you know how fast gossip goes, ugh._

_Love, Miku __'_

_

* * *

_

_Instinct ._

_

* * *

_

"We're so sorry," they had said. "It was a mishap. A..._mistake_."

A mistake. Really, that's what they called it. A death isn't a mistake. It's a tragedy, a horror beyond measure. Not a '_mistake_'. But it didn't affect them. They weren't the ones who lost something so dear, so close. They were indifferent.

Rin sat there, blank eyed and puffy faced. The computer screen showed an email inbox. It had for hours, and there was only one new message. She had been afraid to open it, after the news, but... The compulsion to click it nagged her, and she gave in.

It was a message from the hospital, a message from Miku. The nurse had gotten tired of running back and forth, apparently, and was just doing email now. It was less satisfying to read text on a screen (rather than Miku's swirly, blotted handwriting), but it was something. And that was all Rin wanted. So she set her eyes on the beginning, and read.

It was the 42st letter exchanged between them. Much time had passed since they had last met, had last entwined fingers and lips. Months...Uncountable days. Rin remembered the last kiss, the last tangible words. They were all she had to connect with the letters. All she had...

'_Dear Rin,_

_It's been so very long, hasn't it? Weeks upon weeks... _

_I still love you, you know that? It's hard now, naturally, but you're still the most important thing to me in the world. I wouldn't be here today without you. I would have given up long ago. Fate is a wonderful thing, Rin._

_How's your home life going? I've cleared up the problems with my father. He's a nice man, if a bit, ah, dramatic. I suppose that's life._

_Apparently I've caught this disease. Because of it I'm a bit dizzy and I sleep a lot. And with my immune system like this... But the doctors say I'll be quite fine, long as I get my rest. So hopefully things will clear up. My aunt and father have faith in me._

_Please write back! I miss you horribly, and I can't bear the wait._

_Love, Miku_'

Rin just stared, stared endlessly. Her...Her Miku. Her love...

Miku was sick again. And even if the doctors were optimistic, Rin was worried. What if they were wrong? What if Miku couldn't take it? What if she...couldn't make it? Without Miku, Rin was nothing, nothing at all. This recent loss had been a rather large blow to her, but with Miku gone... She'd be a lifeless shell, surely. Unable to think, to breathe. What else could come from such a horrid thing?

And then one line hit her. 'How's your home life?' it said. Home... Rin didn't know what it was anymore. After the accident, she was told that she had, oh, maybe three or four days left in this house. Before she was driven far away, off to some distant relative's house. She couldn't stay, not after...

It hurt to think, hurt to imagine. But it was true. Rin's mother was dead. The very words made her want to scream out. But that was no use. No point of wasting her lungs. She wanted to curse her killers, to ruin their lives in return. Somehow... But that would never happen.

"I'm just going out to get fresh schoolbooks," her mother had said, pulling on a jacket. "I won't be long!" The smile on her face, the very last one. Blond hair pulled into a bun, blue eyes twinkling...

Rin had been annoyed with her mother, but nevertheless gave her a halfhearted hug and a 'bye'. Never thinking, never imagining...

Things had started to seem odd when her mother hadn't come back an hour later. Two hours and Rin was near panicking. But the answer had come. A phone call out of nowhere, a man's cracked, breaking voice.

"Hello? Is this the Kagamine household?"

"Yes, Rin Kagamine speaking," she had said, oblivious.

"Ah, well, you see, there has been an accident. Regarding Mrs. Kagamine."

"..." She hadn't known what to say.

"You see, mm, it was a car accident. Two men hit her, and her car was forced into the lake."

"..." Still, silence. The worst, she feared... Was it true?

"She didn't make it. I'm sorry, it was a mishap. A mistake. We should have built stronger guardrails."

"...I see," she whispered. So it was true. Her mother was dead. The one person that sparked her feeble, few memories was gone. Her protector, as well.

Thanking the man, she hung up the phone and curled up into a corner to cry. Guardrails. Of all the things... But tears drowned out the rest of her thoughts.

But that was what had happened. And now, Rin was staring at a letter from her last remaining loved one. Her last hope, as cheesy as it sounded. And this 'last hope' could die. Could slip away, just as her mother had. The worst part? There was nothing she could do but wish, hope that it would be alright.

And it was at that moment that her head began to ache, throb once more. It hadn't in quite a while, but it hurt just the same. Rin grasped at her head aimlessly. A-ahh... Agh. Blood red swam at her vision, then black. Black...

A figure appeared, no, two. Two girls, hair rippling and flowing in the bright sunlight. White sundresses fluttering. Both were equally beautiful, different and yet the same. One had impossibly long powder blue hair, the other wavy golden hair. Each with warm, loving azure eyes. Arms outstretched...

"Today is the beginning," they chanted in unison. "Today is the beginning. Today is the beginning. Today is the beginning. Today is our beginning. Today is your beginning."

"N-no..." Rin managed to choke out. "Today is the end."

They stopped chanting, and the golden haired one gazed at her thoughtfully. "Only if you want it to be," she said with a sweet, familiar voice.

And it all disappeared. Rin woke up, sprawled on her bedroom floor. Apparently she had dozed off. Ah, well.

"Only if I want it to be..." she murmured, blinking. "Hmm."

* * *

_Decisions ._

_

* * *

_

It was their final day together. Nearly a year had passed, uncountable letters exchanged. Rin was living about an hour away with her uncle, Miku was kept in close watch at the hospital, and it was a miracle they could even look at each others faces. It was a miracle, surely.

Miku was laying in bed, waiting for her beloved's arrival. She would be here soon. Rin was an easily flustered girl, but she was never late. Always punctual. Miku smiled softly at the thought. The normality of it.

Their lives were far from normal. Miku was sick, much sicker now. She could no longer get out of bed. And she usually slept right through the day. Even eating made her nauseous. Rin was perfectly healthy, but she couldn't remember a thing about her past. And her mother had died a few months ago (a tragic accident that Rin didn't really like talking about). So many things had happened since the last meeting.

Miku was afraid that they wouldn't be able to connect. She feared that too many things had happened. What if it had _changed _them?

But then the awaited person walked through the door, and Miku couldn't feel more happy. Her heart swelled, mouth curved upward as far as it could go. "Rin!" she said, unable to think of anything meaningful. But it did its job.

Soon the two girls were tangled, wrapped together and sobbing with grins on their faces. The scene was such a jumble, but it made _sense_. At least to Miku and Rin. It had been so long, but nothing had really changed.

"I-I really missed you," Miku heard Rin whisper. So soft and muffled, but yet perfectly audible. Rin... Miku held the girl tighter, closer.

"I missed you," Miku whispered back. They broke away, gazing at each other. After so many letters, so many soundless words exchanged... The mood was hard to explain. Certainly happy, and rather sad as well. After everything, it was so strange to just be sitting there, seeing each other.

There was a moment of silence. It was a_ comfortable_ silence, one that calmed the mind and made all feel at ease. One that wrapped about like a warm blanket, like hot soup on a winter day. Like a parent's loving embrace. Hands were entwined, lying on the bed. Hearts beating steadily, surely. Breath in and out, in and out. The familiarity of it all, the comfort of it all...

Rin broke it after a bit, smiling shyly. "I...I don't want to leave you," she said. There were happy tears in her sky blue eyes. A faint blush on her cheeks. "Not ever." And that, that was their promise. Their promise of 'forever'. To never ever be apart. Not physically, as they knew they would have to part eventually. But more...In essence. Their hearts, their minds, their words. Their feelings. Their lives. Though people would rip them apart, though _things_ would rip them apart, their love (ah, how cheesy!) would remain.

Miku just smiled back. "You are endless, Rin," she said, wetting her lips. It was almost a joke, almost... A wistful little statement, a subtle sigh. "But I don't want to leave you either. Not ever," she replied, repeating her love's words.

A minute passed. Perhaps two, perhaps three. Then Rin placed her hands on Miku's shoulders ("Wh-"). What was she...? Rin shoved her onto the bed, head thumping against the firm pillow. Miku blushed fiercely. Was she going to...try something? But Rin was such a cute little girl...Wasn't _she_ on top? And yet...

But Rin soon released her grip and sat back. "You should rest, Miku. You're not well." The girl wet her lips and looked away. Well, yes. That was quite true. Miku wasn't well. But she could talk with Rin for a bit! So why did Rin have that look on her face?

"I'm fine," Miku said softly, but Rin didn't seem to listen. Instead, she took hold of the covers and draped them over Miku, tucking her in rather snugly. "Really, I'm fine." And still, the blond took no notice.

"I do want to talk to you, Mi'," Rin smiled down. On her cheeks was a cute blush, one pink and fierce as any. Round azure eyes glinted. Her lips, the color of a ripe strawberry, curved in speech. "But I want you to relax as well, okay?" Miku nodded back, hands loosely gripping the covers. Well, now the tables were turned. Rin was on top, and she was 'submissive'. Ha. Miku felt a bit, ahem, 'dirty' thinking such a thing, but you know.

"Hey Rin, do you suppose there's sunshine in Paradise?"

"Yeah. It's warm and nice and the sky is always blue."

"How about love? Is there love there?"

"Yeah, yeah there is. And we'll go there together, you and me."

The two girls smiled at each other, beamed. Blue eyes locked in a loving embrace. They leaned forward and kissed. It was soft, innocent. A lovely little peck. Then Miku laid back down, resting her head on the pillow, powder blue hair spilling out in all directions.

"I love you, Rin," she whispered. And she really, really did. More than anything in the world, she loved Rin. And it wasn't a flimsy thing, like her life. It was constant, strong, never faltering. It could withstand life, death, anything. Anything...

"I love you too, Miku," Rin replied, leaning down. Miku felt her eyes began to flutter, and let them close. A blissful sleep, with her lover leaning over her. Yes, this was what she had dreamed of. All light vanished, and she felt herself slip down, down. Into a wonderfully soft pillow of dreams.

"Paradise..." she murmured in her last fragment of consciousness.

* * *

_The End ._

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* * *

_

Rin stared down at her love. Tears rose in her eyes, leaving them rather damp. Her hands gripped the covers on the bed. And a smile, the softest of smiles, lay on her face. Such a peaceful feeling filled her, such a calm feeling.

Suddenly the door burst open. A gust of resulting air flew at Rin, causing her to jerk away with wide eyes. What was going on? Alert, she gaped at the people in the doorway.

At front was a man in a white coat, blue-black hair shiny with hair products. He looked quite serious. His mouth was thin and his fists clenched. Behind him were two others. A bulky, brown haired man with distress reflecting off his meaty face, and a dainty woman with bobbed teal hair, wringing her hands in worry.

"Who are you?" Rin voiced, blinking. Miku needed her rest. Why were they acting so boldly? She hoped it was pretty _darn _important. "And what are you doing here?"

The first man (Rin supposed he was a doctor of some sort) stepped forward. Like most, he held a serious, but unconcerned expression. No real emotion, just business. "We have noticed that, ah, _Miku_'s body functions are abnormally slow, and she is no longer accepting the liquid. We need to take a look at her." His words were blunt, precise. Rin winced.

"A-alright..." the blond said, something odd and foreign building up inside her. Dread, fear, hate, sorrow. No word could be put to that pressure, that heaviness on her mind. What was wrong with Miku? What was wrong with _her Miku_? A possessiveness came over over her, choked her. She wanted to kill, violently kill, the nearing doctor. The man and woman (who were probably Miku's dad and Aunt Mai, from the letters) too. _Rip their arms off one by one_. And then the feeling was gone entirely. She felt as if she might fall over.

The doctor probed at the instruments, and then at Miku. A few minutes passed. "Hmm," he would murmur, or maybe a, "Just as I thought." Worry ate away at Rin, "Mai", and Miku's father, and they resolved to cluster around the beloved girl's bed. Deathbed, the word rang through Rin's mind, and she shut it out.

"There's nothing we can do," the doctor finally said, attempting a gentle disposition. He really came off as snide. "I'm sorry." He shook hands with the father, who now had tears gathering in his watery eyes. It was an odd sight. Mai hugged him tight, sobbing, and he held her. It didn't look like siblings, siblings-in-law, or anything of that nature. It looked like, well, a couple. The way they nestled into each other was just so loving and trusting...

And then it hit Rin. The doctor's uncaring words... And she remembered her mother's demise. "Unfortunate," she whispered, voice breaking, tears now flowing down her face. "An unfortunate mistake..." She leaned over Miku, trembling. Her love's sleeping face, so peaceful. So serene. It was heartbreaking. That would be her very last smile.

There was a sudden, loud noise. Beeeeeeep. It seemed to go on forever. Miku's heart wasn't beating. She wasn't breathing. At once all color disappeared, all sounds drowned. Rin felt absolutely everything end, right then and there. The only thing she could feel were Miku's soft wrists. The only thing she could see was Miku's slumbering face. The only thing she could hear was one final whisper.

"Paradise..." was the raspy thing that exited the dying girl's lips.

No tears left Rin's eyes that moment, nothing at all. Her breathing was sharp and steady, almost nonexistent. It felt like she was underwater. The soft words of comfort between Miku's father and Mai, the heavy discussion between the doctors and nurses in the hall... It was muffled and muted. None of it mattered. None of it mattered to Rin.

And suddenly, in that brief lick of a second, everything was crystal clear. Rin Kagamine was nothing more than a made up body for the soul that lurked within her. Same with 'Miku Hatsune'. This whole world was nothing more than a plaything for the two, a vent for boredom. Miku's illness was just a plot element. Rin's 'amnesia' too, although the cause of that was simply that there was nothing there in the first place. The few memories she had all made sense. They were of the souls, in various different worlds, smiling and laughing and enjoying themselves. It was no wonder 'Miku' and 'Rin's love had come so suddenly. Their souls were already in quite a deep relationship. Everything that had happened was unimportant, trivial. And soon it would end.

Soon it would end.

Rin, dizzy from the sudden realization, could only say a bit before collapsing. "I guess I'll see you in Paradise," she smiled, and fell onto the bed. For a moment, she could feel the others' heavy gazes on her, before they vanished and were replaced by a light feeling of bliss.

"Paradise..."

* * *

_The Beginning ._

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_

There was a gust of wind. A puff of the lightest air zooming by for the sole purpose of disturbing everything it touched. The greenest grass, ruffling and tangling. The lushest trees, rippling. And the sky was such a gorgeous blue, unobscured by any clouds. The sun shining through like an angelic beacon.

And soon two figures appeared, sprawled out on the grass. Two girls. Happy smiles lit their faces, and they laughed. One, golden hair spilling out, blue eyes shining. The other, powder blue hair rippling, blue eyes also shining. The pink string tied about their fingers was connected, not by something flimsy, but by something stronger than diamond.

"That was quite fun," grinned the blond. She stroked the others hands gently, absentmindedly. Thinking over the entire story. "We should write it down sometime." It had some really nice elements to it, too. Love, of course! And illness, incest, amnesia, dreams, death... She could go on and on, but it would be pointless. It was over, anyway, which gave them some free time.

"Yes, it was!" agreed the bluette. She had such a pretty form, too. Slim, curved figure, gentle features... Concealed, naturally, by a flowing white sundress. Sometimes she would wear a hat too, a wide, brimmed sunhat with a pretty flower on it. It was like a tiara, a royal mark of beauty to be treasured. She was like a princess. No, not like. She _was_ one.

"What do you say we try being something a little _messier_ next time? Criminals maybe?" the blond poked, laughing. "We could have guns!" Though it was a simple prod meant to startle the other, she really meant it. It was always fun to try new things. They were the only real beings to exist, so they needed to find _something_ to do.

"Ah!" the other gasped, smiling back. "Maybe not."

But it didn't matter. They leaned forward, brushing noses, then lips. Connecting, just like the string on their fingers.

"Today is the beginning."

* * *

Author's Note: Ah! That was certainly a bit. Review, favorite, et cetera if you like it. Or don't. That's cool too.


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